Bad habits are like chains that are too light to feel until they are too heavy to carry… – Warren Buffett
The only person capable of changing and living your life is you. No one is better at this task than you.
It is up to you to rid your life from unnecessary “anchors” that hold you back. It is up to you to learn lessons from your past and move on. New decisions will improve all your tomorrows.
Let’s kick it off with identifying toxic habits that impose themselves as our commanders. It’s time to rid our lives of the clutter. Starting now.
10 Toxic Habits to Rid Your Life From
1. Less Talk, More Action
There is this massive idea: Dream Big! What they forgot to say as a tiny bonus to that bold message is that you have to take action! It’s not enough to spend your time daydreaming, procrastinating, doing nothing productive.
I have a friend who has a tendency to speak about the future avoiding her life in the present moment. She counts her money in the future without boosting her productivity NOW to actually earn it. She often says with a dreamy romantic voice: “There will be a time when I can afford all the dresses from all the years of Balenciaga“. She is a dreamer and it’s admirable. But that’s not enough.
Talk is cheap, give yourself a word you can keep and take action. No matter how slow your progress is, you’re still ahead of everyone who isn’t trying.
Pull yourself together. The thing that takes its origin today will not be finished by itself tomorrow or on any other given day unless you keep throwing actions at it.
2. You Are The Captain. Jokes On You
What do you mean, jokes on the captain? Well, if your life is a ship sailing through your destiny, then your are the captain of that ship and it is up to you to steer it away from thunderstorms avoiding the reefs. Any wrong move and its consequences are both your responsibility as a captain.
The only person truly responsible for anything that goes on in your life is YOU. And it is hard to take full responsibility for everything in your life, I know that. But when we consciously make a choice to release our mind from wondering and judging who did what and how wrong they were – we actually have more time to change our life for the better. We feel empowered for owning our lives. With all its mistakes and blissful happy moments.
3. Everything Is Changing. Whether You Like it Or Not
If you think about taking up running, but your old buddies drag you down for some beers there are two things to take into consideration: your eternal resistance and your environment. If you want to kickstart your life with new exciting things think about changing decorations. Find people who share your new ideas and beliefs. Find those who will support your positive changes and will help you go through with them. Find those who will keep your motivation up. Never settle for less than what you deserve.
Try to surround yourself with people who can help you. If not, at least surround yourself with those, who wouldn’t interfere with your plans.
Do just once what others say you can’t do, and you will never pay attention to their limitations again. – James R. Cook
4. Stop Trying to Control Uncontrollable
Can you stop the rain from falling? Or are you capable of keeping the sky spotless without clouds? Can you rid the planet from hurricanes? Can you plug all the volcanoes in the world?
The answer is NO.
Why stressing over the things that are beyond your control? Change your perspective.
Stop trying to control everything and be upset when you learn that all your plans to control the order of things fall through. Concentrate on the things you can control. That’s all.
5. Stop Ignoring Your Subconscious Mind
Our subconscious mind is the most powerful instrument when used correctly. It is ok to have a conversation with your subconscious. It has all the answers.
Whenever I have some doubts about anything, I close my eyes and establish an internal dialog with the subconscious. The trick is to know what questions to throw at it and to listen when it actually has something to say.
We all talk to ourselves sometimes. But not always we are aware of what is it that we say and how it affects us.
6. Stop Criticising
Avoid Negativity. Turn it into positivity.
When we release the negativity of noticing shortcomings of all the people and things around us it jeopardises our happiness and our peace of mind. On the other hand, when you accept your shortcomings and you are in tune with yourself you won’t be threatened or offended by the flaws that you see in others. Better yet, you will learn to accept others as they are.
7. There Is No Escape From Problems or Yourself
All the thoughts about running away from your problems are yet another obstacle in the decision-making process, in taking risks and in doing something new.
We all feel cozy in our ‘comfort zone’. It’s perfectly normal. What is great for you and your life experience is to have the courage to go out there and pursue you dreams. They are all aligned where your comfort zone ends.
8. Stop Living In the Past, or Running Away to Your Future. Live Now
I guess we have all been there. Between two infinite vortexes: our past and our future. We are thinking about all the things that could have gone differently if only we did this or that. We are tiring our mind, banging it against an impossible task of changing the past. There is no way we can go back in time and change the things that we think went wrong…
We simply can’t do that. We have to accept that fact. We have to stop wasting our time obsessing about the past.
We also have to be mindful not to run away from our present into the future. Dreaming and hoping that things will be better in the future is great and gives you positive attitude and perspective. But never forget that you live in the present and all the actions that you take in the present will shape your future. If you don’t live mindfully in the present, you run a risk of missing a lot of good things in your life.
Leave the past where it belongs. Behind you.
Stay in the present and enjoy the moment. Learn something new and have faith that with time everything will fall into right places. Be patient.
9. Don’t try to be anybody else except yourself
“Be yourself, everyone else is already taken” – said Oscar Wilde once. And I couldn’t agree more. Sure, we are social creatures and we might learn things or two from one another. What I’m trying to say, as long as you are being the authentic you with your own flaws and positive sides – you are fine. There is no need in scanning and copying someone else.
Learn from people something new that will have a positive effect on your life and stay yourself at the very core at the same time…
10. Be grateful
Once there was a young man. He was brought up among luxury and wealth in a wealthy family. Imagine the opening scene of all time favourite cartoon Scrooge McDuck where he was plunging into his gold. He and his younger siblings never had anything to worry about. Rich parents could afford just about anything to delight their kids. But the young man always had this uncontrollable desire for more!
He never had any friends because he treated people badly always scanning them with his merciless glance from top to bottom. His mind was so busy with the task of multiplying his fortune, that he hardly ever had a chance (or desire) to go outside and, you know, smell the roses.
He didn’t like to work. Why? Parents are on it. And as long as they are around he had nothing to worry about. Until one day. When his dad came from work early and didn’t feel that good. He went to his office and collapsed. His dad died from a stroke. When his mum went upstairs to see how her husband was doing, she froze. She froze and then collapsed on top of her husband. She died from a heart attack.
He never got that. He never felt the need to be grateful for all he had in his life, especially for his wonderful and hardworking parents, while they were still alive. The wealthy empire decayed and eventually he was broke. And the only people he blamed for it were his parents. That’s what he thought.
Some people don’t get that. But you, please do. Be grateful for what you have, before you even have it. Be grateful, truly and you will get more.