A person isn’t who they are during the last conversation you had with them – they’re who they’ve been throughout your whole relationship. – Rainer Maria Rilke
We can fix just about anything if we see the warning signs in time. We want to believe so. When we care about the person we are in a relationship with, we would do just about anything to make things work smoother. Sometimes, we are so terrified to face irritable bumps on the road that they slowly lead us to a place of no return…
3 Warning Signs of a Bad Relationship
1. Fix You
Sometimes we feel it is our 24/7 job to fix, to tell what to do and how to live life… To coach and improve. Sometimes think that we should teach our partner how to live because ‘we know better‘. Something pushes us and tells us that it’s our life’s purpose to change them. Not quite so.
This is one of the fatal things for a relationship… and we all have done that at some point. Don’t try to fix people that you are in a relationship with. It’s great that you take steps in your own personal development. It’s amazing that you are taking your consciousness to the next level. Though, if you have your partner’s best interest at heart, refrain from dragging them to the level you are currently at. Because we all came here to learn our lessons at our own pace.
Refrain from making it your personal responsibility to coach and fix people. In my experience, I got nothing but an annoyance of a partner in return. Let’s stay committed in our desire to love and accept each other for who we are. Let’s recognize and respect different streaks in our characters that make us unique.
2. Let’s Talk Money, Honey
When we worry about surviving, the level of stress rises and so the tendency of lashing out at each other. It’s hard to concentrate on a relationship when both are stressing not knowing how to get food on the table.
We want our life to be in a certain way as we pictured it. We want to give our other half everything that they need… And when reality urges us to focus on survival – the difference between fantasy and reality makes us even more stressed. We just don’t have that luxury to go and hang out in that “happy love bubble” anymore.
It translates into the lack of presence at the moment as your mind is busy figuring out how to earn money to survive.
3. Till the Boredom Do us Apart…
Some people think that to build a relationship is the one and only goal in their lives. “If only I could make THAT girl my wife”, “If only this prince would turn up and take my breath away… – I MADE IT! Yes! My life looks great.”
Building a great relationship is important, yet it can never turn into your prime focus in life. The focus of your life is… your life. It’s about turning into the best version of yourself. Sometimes, when we are in a relationship we tend to forget about our own personal development.
Then what? We look at our partner thinking: “My development stopped because of YOU!” And then the BLAME GAME starts and you never hear the end of it. And you say that you could never live up to your own potential because of the relationship you chose to commit to. Sounds familiar? It is familiar to me, unfortunately.
And so that is what happens if YOU DON’T KEEP YOUR FOCUS on your personal growth. We get stuck. We get bored.
What to do when you feel the lack of progress? Switch your attention to the areas in your life that are waiting for your focus and take ACTION.
Be relentless in your self-development and the desire to change your life for the better. Learn how to pay attention to those areas of life that ask for improvement. And so your relationship will also improve.