4 Cheeky Secrets of the Process of Change

By Lesya Li

4 Cheeky Secrets of the Process of Change

“Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.” – Karen Kaiser Clark

“If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you at all.” Change is that unique spice that gets thrown into the mix of life, and we all get to experience it. And yet, change is not something we tend to get on with easily because most of us have grown up with the notion that change is potentially something “troublesome” or even dangerous when in fact it could be easily just another beginning of a new exciting and exhilarating adventure!

Let’s take a step back the way we do to appreciate a piece of art in the gallery, to get the full picture. Imagine for a second, what your entire life could be if you felt at ease with the idea of change, with a simple idea that NOTHING STANDS STILL FOREVER, where you get to face the challenges that will keep on continually coming to push you forward and keeping you growing.

Often, the sheer fear of changing anything is caused by the uncomfortable uncertainty of what come along next. Changing yourself for good is part of it all. And that’s the reason why understanding the entire process of change is essential.

The quality of your life is in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty you can comfortably deal with.

4 Cheeky Secrets of the Process of Change

1)  Target Secured?

Have a good think about what you want to change. Secure the target in your mind. Commit to it. This step is important, especially when it comes to changing behavioral patterns because we can’t change something that we don’t know or fully understand.

2) The Perks?!

What’s in it for you? What does it bring you? Get better at the understanding of the consequences that this change in circumstances or behavior will have on your life and why it is crucial that YOU take action to make that change NOW. Take a moment to consider all the perks that this will bring, but most importantly, all the adverse effects that are not changing can have on your life. For instance, if you are spinning an idea of leaving the job that makes you miserable to spread your wings and start your own company, or changing the way you are managing your time to get the best of it and become more productive, perhaps?

If you do not create change, change will create you.

If you refuse to create change, change will create you.

3) Shout it From the Rooftops!

Okay, it’s probably not that much about the shouting and yelling, as much of communicating properly. We need to talk, verbalize, and share what you want to do and how you plan to execute it. Think of talking to someone you are comfortable with talking, and saying all those things out loud will only aid you in confirming the fundamental reasons for a change. Worth keeping in mind that when you are sharing with someone what you intend to achieve, you are taking the whole responsibility for making it happen. No excuses.

4) Action is Required

I had all the support in the world over the years, all the advice and feedback and action plan that loving friends and mentors would provide me with… I won’t crack any walls or break any news by saying that it’s UP TO US to make it happen. How? By taking a massive leap of faith, by taking ACTION. No matter how loving and supporting your friends and mentors are, they just can’t do all the “walking” for you.

If nothing ever changed, there’d be no butterflies.

If nothing ever changed, there’d be no butterflies.

A little over six years ago I woke up one morning and looked in the mirror. I didn’t like what I saw. Not because I refused to accept myself for who I was; no. The amount of discomfort and pain that the old ways brought me was unbearable and not worth to put up with any longer. And then it clicked in my head. I finally CLICKED! Holly, cow – it. clicked. “Hey, LL, want to feel better and healthier? No one can go on a run or do that extra sweat yoga session to stretch those muscles in YOUR body for you”. True that. It was up to me. So I put myself IN CHARGE. No, radically changing my food diet (I became pescatarian six years ago) and becoming more active was not something I would call “easy,” yet it was NECESSARY.

Can anybody PLEASE tell me what the hell am I doing (as in, what’s the name of THIS asana, please?)

Looking back now and connecting the dots – I am smiling. But let me underline one thing… it was only up till the moment I’ve become so irritatingly uncomfortable about the old ways of living – the mere possibility of the joy of changing things outweighed the pain of staying in the same old place when I was utterly uncomfortable = unhappy.

Need More Convincing? Here Are Some Helpful Tips

a) Have a second and think about your past challenges and experiences. Have you been in a similar situation when you had to change, and yet you were a but unsure? Ask yourself what you did so well to overcome it. The trick is that you can always rely on and use similar action points to cope with the changes in your life. You just need to decide and then execute.

b) Embrace your emotions. It’s okay to feel uneasy and anxious towards changes, either negative or positive. Swapping cities, switching jobs, and universities, your routines, and diets are often for the better, but the anxiety is always there at first lurking. It’s fine. You can handle it.

c) Support network. Find good help and emotional support. The rocks that would keep you strong and safe. When you have people around you who had to throw similar experiences to yours or they are great listeners – we cannot put a pricetag on that. What we truly need at times is for someone to be out there and to listen; all we need is to talk and share with someone and express our deepest feelings. When we let the guard down and let ourselves be vulnerable, raw and genuine; when we talk things through, we feel much better, and the sense of relief washes over our faces.

d) If the change is a bit of a curveball, and something that you have a little control over, just hold it in your mind that it’s just a MOMENT of your life, never something set in stone permanent. Concentrate your attention on WHAT you can learn from that experience. Whatever comes, we get to handle it and learn from it.

Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I would like to see you living In better conditions.

Final Thoughts

Above it all, the better things come to our reality when we put ourselves in charge of changing the old ways of life that don’t serve us any longer.

Think of all the NEW adventures ahead and feeling how much you’ve changed, and grew as a human being as you look back, but this is only POSSIBLE when you put yourself in charge of embracing change nd put you in charge of taking action.

Let’s discuss further. What was the recent BIG change you’ve made in your life? Share your experience in the comments section below.

photo source

Lesya Li

Lesya Li

Founder, Head of Content at HavingTime
Lesya Li is a founder of HavingTime – a digitally native story magazine for people that need to share inspiration and be inspired.
Lesya Li
Lesya Li

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