The art of figuring out and understanding people is a lifelong challenge we all face two hands down. It is a never ending journey. How many times we thought we learned all about a person and then suddenly something happens that opens up even more true colours of that person we never even wished to discover.
How many times we were wrong about people that crossed our path? How many trusts were broken along the way? How many expectations of somebody weren’t met? Trust. I see it as a big eraser that becomes thinner with every mistake. And then the desire to be distant from people comes and knocks relentlessly on the souls’ door.
“How could I be so silly? How could I be so wrong about…” might sound familiar. And how many walls were we desperately banging trying to understand why the hell we didn’t pay any attention to all the red flags that our intuition was so eager to raise? The answer is PLENTY. Plenty of walls.
We live in the world of people. In order to be less disappointed with them, we need to learn more about understanding their mechanisms.
It is then a good idea to dig deeper in learning more about The Body Language and micro expressions. But let’s start with something simple.
Figuring out People. 3 Simple Tricks
1. Intuition Always Strikes Gold
If you are not best friends with your intuition it is never too late to turn things around and start trusting it. The more time you spend developing your intuition, the better outcomes you will get along the way.
Very often, our internal voice sends us a message how to feel about a person when we meet him or her for the first time based on the subconscious emotions and senses. That sense grows stronger each time we meet that person.
Some people give us chill bumps and we cannot understand why. Some people bring us that sense of tranquility and we feel more open in their presence. And then again, some people just bring us this nudging feeling “There Is Something Wrong” and we try to figure out WHAT and WHY exactly it feels WRONG.
Intuition gives us hints while our conscious is still figuring them out, whereas our subconscious has already solved the puzzle.
Intuition sees smoke faster than conscious sees fire when it’s too late. Grow your awareness by listening more to what your intuition has to say.
2. Awareness and Concentration
When I started to dig deeper into understanding The Body Language and micro-expressions I still failed to pay attention towards the actual body language and micro-expressions when I would have met someone new.
I was so oblivious in reading, researching and memorising all the formulas that I completely forgot to apply those in practice. Moreover, we all know that practice is crucial in anything no matter how deep our theoretical knowledge becomes.
Shift your focus onto details.
To apply our knowledge in practice, we need to improve our concentration on the details. It’s easy to get drifted away when we meet new people and forget all about our initial purpose to observe and learn. So then by staying grounded to the subject of our observations we have more opportunities to do the actual analysis. Stay focused and observe.
3. All Masks Dropped
There is no better way to learn who people really are than when a crisis strikes. All masks are dropped then.
When people go out of their “comfort zone of familiar situations” and the way they react to it by running same patterns, that’s when you learn more about people in the subject.
Masks can be deceitful. Sometimes it might take forever to get a peek at the real person under that mask.
When a real, challenging and difficult situation shows up outside of their familiar reactions – people start solving their problems relying on their true system of values, beliefs and opinions.
The more non-standard situations you can go through with people, the better your chances are to learn more about people around you.
The fewer expectations we have about people – the fewer disappointments we will get in return. Other than that, I wish you all to become better in understanding and figuring out people so you can avoid confusing and even heartbreaking situations you might find yourself in. Learn to navigate in this ocean of people and always stay focused.