I never had problems with my self image until I moved to London.
From the night clubber and party dynamite who was dancing on the floor all night long I lost all interest for all that movement and became a steady lady. Sure I gained extra weight. And I had a very “good” friend who was reminding me about that every now and then till my self-esteem went out of the window almost completely…
At first – it was an “innocent” suggestion to try fasting by Paul Bragg which surprised me as my weight was 47 kg at that moment and I couldn’t stick my though to that – why exactly would I want to lose my perky curves?!
Then those suggestions turned into instructions how to live and all our conversations were about sports, diets, fasting, running and “How it’s important to be fit for the new summer collection of Massimo Dutti“. As long as she was talking how fat I was – I ate junk food, topping it up with all kinds of my favourite beer! Stressed and depressed… I thought I would never get better psychologically to break this sick cycle carousel. Every bit of motivation I was trying to build, every little attempt to get back on track – were met with words: “Oh, I see you lost some weight, but it’s not good enough! You should cut 8 kg more”. End I hated the though of meeting her again and again dealing with her scanning look from head to toe in search of new flaws to point out… Should I say how miserable I felt till not so long ago?
After the 125th attempt to go through with a “super diet” I got very annoyed with myself. I started to see all kinds of food as my enemy. Which was beyond stupid. Suddenly it hit me! WHY ON EARTH WOULD I CARE what my friend thought about me? Why would I start to HATE myself?! It’s UNNATURAL! Why would I give her an opportunity to bully myself or anyone else for that matter? How did it happen?!
I got tired of the “friend” who turned me against myself. So I just quit. As much as I ignore her – as far I move towards my self-esteem building. I got picky with what I eat: cut sugar, gluten and drink more water. It’s healthy, it’s fun! And no pressure or fear of being judged. It was my decision to make and I did it.
A very simple thought came through sweeping away all of that junk in my head I buried for many years…
Stay as far as you can from the people who spill nothing but their own misery trying to convince you how awful you are compared to them. Please, don’t fall into this trick like I did. If you are willing to change your life – do it yourself and for your own sake! Make up your decision and OWN IT. Never let other people let you down. Choose your own path and follow your lead, the one that suits you BEST!
Be happy! Stay positive and in peace with your soul.
You have the freedom to be yourself here and now…