How to Get What You Want Without Burning Out

How to Get What You Want Without Burning Out

By Paula Vital

“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” – Albert Einstein

Many of us have chosen this path of Mindfulness because we felt overwhelmed.  Our to-do lists, obligations, and endless search for improvement. All that left us feeling exhausted, frustrated and fed up.  Suddenly, the idea of just Being, without needing to Do anything, was refreshing.

We’ve learned that all these things we were doing weren’t THAT necessary for us to feel valued, connected, and whole.  We began to sit, or stretch, or walk, just for the enjoyment of it. Feeling part of the Universe was enough, and we could finally rest.

Yet, once you’ve relaxed enough to experience the reality of your inherent value, you are still left with your human tendency to create, to expand, to achieve.  You get clarity on what you want, not because it’s what your parents wanted or what society tells you is good, but because you have a deep desire to do it.

Can Being and Doing come together somehow?  Is it possible to continue to grow and learn and explore, whilst staying connected to the reality that just Being is enough?

That this is where Mindfulness becomes most important. Sitting in meditation, doing yoga, or even just walking in nature… We call it “practice” for a reason. It teaches us what we need to know to apply present moment acceptance and awareness in everything we do.

Meditation is not a destination but a way of Being.  We can take this way of Being into everything we Do.  We can infuse our desire to achieve and create with an ability to determine what is worthy of our time and effort. And then we can figure out the right steps to get there, and even enjoy the process.

How to Get What You Want Without Burning Out

  1. Figure out your Intention, come back to it often.
  2. WHY do you want to do whatever it is you want to do? Do you know? What feeling will it create for you once you get there?
  3. If your intention is to become better than you are, the likelihood is that once you get there, you will start looking for somewhere else to do. You come with you to your destination, so you will never feel satisfied if your intention is to be more (successful, beautiful, confident, secure…).
  4. For these kinds of intentions, the work is only in the present moment. How can you call forth these qualities that are already within you and then use them to get you to where you want to go?
  5. When you want to share what you have, to use your gifts and talents to be of benefit… When you wish to express your uniqueness and do what brings you joy, you know you are on the right track.

Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties

  • Break it down, then break it down again. Start small and make it even smaller.  But keep moving forward.
  • Once find something that makes your heart sing, you will likely try to talk yourself out of it.
  • Doing things because you want to make yourself better has strong motivation in it because you see a future where you no longer have to feel your pain. But as explained in step 1, the pain can only be worked with where you are.
  • When you actually find a goal that is an expression of your innermost gifts and talents, you won’t want to do it. It will seem too hard, too overwhelming, too raw and vulnerable.  You will want to run away.  Yet the longer you delay, the stronger the call will be to move forward.
  • Take tiny steps forward. I once heard that you are either growing or shrinking. So keep growing, but don’t worry about the pace.  You will know you’re growing when the tiny action you take feels inspiring, exhilarating, and yes, a bit scary.

ten years from now

  • Make the process your destination. Embrace mistakes and even failure as part of the process.
  • Risking going for your dreams means you might not get there. The thought of this can be so heartbreaking when there is something that you want that is so close to your heart.  Many women experience this when they want a child but have difficulty conceiving.  Or when you have found the job of your dreams, only to watch it slipping to someone else.
  • Disappointment is a part of life and a large part of living a wholehearted life. If we aim for perfection, the only way we will achieve this is by giving up on the goal altogether. When we choose security over doing something new, we are preventing growth from happening.
  • Celebrate the fact that you are honouring what you want, and taking the steps to get there. Rather than tightening and pushing your way to the top, take a breath, relax the body, and focus on enjoying every step.
  • The irony of the whole thing is that the more we can Be ourselves and Be in the present moment, the more inspired we will feel to Do things in our lives and in the world.

By remembering your value, growing slowly yet steadily, and relaxing as you stumble and fall, and get back up again…  You will find that Being and Doing are mutually reinforcing and inherently complementary.

Your Doing can be infused with a sense of presence, relaxation, and a profound trust in the unfolding of your own beautiful life.

Go confidently in the directions of your dreams

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Paula Vital
Paula Vital is an award winning coach, speaker, and author dedicated to helping you move from striving to thriving by accessing the power of the present moment. Paula has over 20 years of experience in the field of health and wellness. She offers mindfulness coaching to individuals and groups, speaks regularly at corporate events on the power of mindfulness, and has been featured at TEDx “ideas worth spreading”. A lawyer by training, Paula is very familiar with the challenges of balancing a stressful work-life with time for family and self-care. Sign up for Paula’s free course of 3 Minute Meditations: 3 Minutes to Your Greatest Self on her website, www.livethepresent.ca.
Paula Vital

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