Powerful Life Hack: How to Ignore Negativity & Achieve your Goals

By Danijela Jokic Vaislay

How to Ignore Negativity & Achieve your Goals

“Excellence can be obtained if you care more than others think is wise, risk more than others think is safe, dream more than others think is practical, expect more than others think is possible.” – Unknown

If I look back, I would not be where I am and happy as I am today if I wouldn’t have had the courage to be different, authentic, deal with social pressure and go after my dreams, despite all the silly rumours about my life, and so many people trying to persuade me out of what I wanted, thinking that they  “know” what would be the right decision for me.

When I started practicing yoga (which was unknown and weird “thing” in the country I’ coming from),  rumors started spreading around the town that I joined some religious cult! Some of my friends started avoiding spending time with me from the fear (their own and those of their parents) of being “recruited” into the “cult”.

When I became a vegetarian, I used to hear so many comments and talks:

“You’re gonna die without meat!”

“What are you going to eat now, all the meals in Bosnian cuisine are made with meat?”

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.” –Nelson Mandela

When I dropped out of Medical College – my family said that was the biggest mistake of my life (until they heard that I wanted to study Journalism instead!). People around me were saying that I am too smart to study Journalism; that I will be running like a dog every day to collect information, that it is totally not for me because I did not talk much and I did not have any “connections” in the Government or local TV & radio stations to get a job; it will be difficult to get a job once I graduate… But, I didn’t listen, I still enrolled.

Those who were analyzing my “weird” behavior more thoroughly finally “concluded” that the cause of everything was that yoga-thing I was doing (“Poor girl has been brainwashed in that yoga cult” ).

When I started writing and blogging during my second year of college (lead by a desire to gain an experience in the field of online Journalism and later to inspire, help and-and inspire others) people were saying that I’m a fool and they would never write or do any work for free.

Despite all the”dark premonitions”, I graduated on time and with good grades, but then people were predicting that I will be struggling to find a decent job.

During my college days, in two years of devoted blogging and writing, I built a successful blog (I was even proclaimed to be the most famous vegetarian blogger in the region and featured as an expert in healthy living lifestyle and vegetarian nutrition on various magazines, newspapers, TV…) and I had more than a hundred of my articles published. It happened that before I even got my diploma, I started earning as a freelance writer for various online magazines in the region. But since I was working online, people kept on asking me when will I get the “real job”?

“A dream is a wish your heart makes.” – Disney

After graduation, I moved to India with and as I was working online, I could continue my work without any problem since I was location free (which would not have been possible if I had a “real” office job).

After more than two years of earning my income as a freelance writer, I felt the “call” within to do my dream job as a life coach, which I’m currently doing in the garden in front of my apartment under the palm trees or from anywhere I can access wi-fi, as a digital nomad.

Since I had more than four years experience in blogging and building a successful blog, and background in Journalism, when I built my website and offered my services, soon I got the first paid client as well.

If I was listening and taking to my heart everything people were saying and allowed them to talk me out of things that I wanted and convinced me that I cannot achieve it, I would not be living the life that I love and doing my dream job today.

Powerful Life Hack: How to Ignore Negativity & Achieve your Goals

1. “If you try to please everyone, you’ll end up pleasing no one.”

There’s this old saying “The one who pleased everybody was not born yet“. If you are trying to please everybody you will end up pleasing nobody especially yourself in the long term since people will always find something to talk about you or criticizing you, whether you are successful or not, married or not, different or “normal”.

There is no point in living the life in a fear of being in the spot of rumours or being criticised or being different, because if you look around you will probably find that someone is already criticising you, spreading rumours about you or hating you (for no reason than just being unsatisfied or bored with his own life).

Let go of “What other people will say if…” and just start living!

2. Follow Your Intuition 

If you look back, you will probably find that the best decisions you made in your life were the result of you following your intuition.

I felt so deeply with my whole being that life coaching is my “calling” and what’s resonating with me and my personality, skills, talents and desire to help and guide people to be happier and more successful in their lives. I am so grateful today that I listened my gut feeling and signed up for the life coaching training, despite so many people trying to persuade me out of it, saying it was a “bad” idea:

“There are so many coaches out there already…” 

“You are not living in the United States, that ‘thing is not popular neither in Bosnia or India!”

“You better become a health coach, with your background in nutrition and four years writing and blogging  about healthy living, you are already established in that area and have more than 15 000 people following your blog…”

If deep down you feel that “IT” is the best decision for you, the reality is, you are probably right. Trust your inner wisdom.

3. Live Your Authentic Truth

Under the pressure of rumors, negative feedback about our dreams and goals, fear of being different and not fitting in – it is easy to give up on our dreams and stay in our comfort zone, living a mediocre life. You might be feeling the fear of not being loved and accepted by the people around you if you stand out from the crowd, but you should know that if you do not live your authentic truth, you can never be truly and unconditionally loved as well!

If you are not true to yourself and keep on hiding your authentic self, you will never open up to other people enough in a way that they can know you, like who you are for who YOU are, and fall in love with YOU and accept YOU unconditionally.

4. Ask Yourself This: Do you Want to Be Happy or to Fit In?

Is the opinion of other people really worth of your long-term happiness and accepting to live a mediocre life, choosing the job or a career you do not feel passionate about (half of your day, every day, five days in a week, for the next 20-30-40 years?), giving up on a partner that you feel is your soulmate and makes you happy or lifestyle you are dreaming of…?

5. Hire a Life Coach 

If you have self-doubts about the decision you are making, the social pressure added to it can make it hard to believe in yourself and as a result “help” you to give up on your dreams.

Hiring a neutral expert, who can give you an objective feedback about your capabilities, talents, skills, possibilities… can be a huge help in making a decision because even people who love us deeply (parents, partner, friends…) can’t always know what is the “right” thing for us, they can only give their OPINION about what they THINK is right for us, from their unique perspective.

When my mentor life coach told me that I definitely have what it takes to be a good life coach and that she can see me as a very successful one in the future I felt a huge relief and stopped doubting whether I took the right decision or not and instead focused harder on building my skills as a life coach, so that I can serve my clients in the best possible way.

The money that you will spend in hiring a mentor, life coach, business coach, or any relevant consultant, adviser or counselor can save you long term a lot of money, time, self-doubts, failures, disappointments, or the worst giving up on your dreams!

photo source

Danijela Jokic Vaislay
Danijela Jokic Vaislay is a life coach and featured writer for many major international publications including The Huffington Post and COSMOPOLITAN. Danijela is living her dream and it is her mission to help other people pursue and achieve their own dreams and goals as well. Go over on www.kissofhappiness.com to get tips and advice to live your dream life. Stay in touch with Danijela via Facebook and Instagram.
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