You can’t calm the storm, so stop trying. What you can do is calm yourself. The storm will pass. – Timber Hawkeye
Daily life often has a striking resemblance with a roller coaster. One minute you are on the top and nothing could be better, the next moment you are hitting the bottom wondering why everything changed in that instance and panic kicks in…
It’s often challenging to stay calm no matter the circumstances.
I happened to have a friend who is permanently calm.
His car brakes down unexpectedly? No problem. Running late with deadlines at work? No problem. The world crumbles and falls apart? No problem: grab a bucket of popcorn, sit calmly and observe. For years, I thought that my friend was a brute who didn’t care much about anything. It was far from the truth.
“Why are you always so calm and composed?” – I asked him the other day.
“I don’t know. Am simply not the kind of person who would spend sleepless nights staring into the ceiling obsessing over what happened that day or in the past. I value my time. I value my emotions, especially my nervous system and its cells. Why kill poor guys with pointless worry?” – shared Mark and it stunned me.
“I believe that you can be in charge of your life if you stick with some simple rules I follow myself. You should be in charge of your everything, not just temporary emotions or obsessive worrying” – Mark continued.
5 Tips On Staying Calm
1. Reducing Stress by Wanting Less
“I was stressing over silly things. I starved for more. More money, more exotic holidays, more girls hanging around, more fancy members-only-club cards etc. The more I wanted, the more stress I was getting. I was racing and chasing that “image of happiness” I drew in my mind years ago. Somehow by NOT HAVING something, I felt less of myself. I didn’t see the link between the two.
I wouldn’t let myself BE HAPPY. Casually. Without conditions. When I got what I want I hardly ever felt any lasting satisfaction.
Not so long ago I opened myself up to a notion of The Power of Having Less. It was both liberating. It reduced my stress levels. I became calmer. I feel much better. Restless mind became more focused on the things that REALLY MATTER.
The less you have, the less you stress about losing it all.
You are not a worthy person because of the things that you own. You are worthy because you are UNIQUE and it’s priceless.”
2. Your Life = Your Responsibility
“For years whenever I failed at something I blamed myself because I didn’t live up to my own expectations or the expectations of those who were around me.
Regardless of how I felt I didn’t see the whole picture as it was. My better judgement was clouded with self-pity and heavy thoughts.
I had to take my own responsibility for my own life. No matter what people say or do or how much they try to convince you on how to live your life “better” – it really is up to you. No one is in charge except you. The faster you realise this, the better the outcomes will be. For some people, this notion is obvious, but for me it was an “aha moment” that made a huge difference.
So, instead of wasting my time holding others “responsible” for the things that didn’t go so well, I put myself in charge. It took training to enable myself to think differently. But practice makes perfect.”
3. Extreme Junkie Got Fired
“For years I’ve been hunting down new experiences and dangerous adventures. I became an adrenaline junkie that you probably are familiar with from the videos of the guys who do BASE. Nothing seemed to amuse me enough. And anything that wasn’t dangerous & exhilarating seemed awfully boring to me.
I was in that constant need to stimulate my interest in life by adding different extreme experiences. I just couldn’t stop that ridiculous race and, you know, take a deep breath and enjoy life as it is. Even if it doesn’t take your breath away, we should feel blessed that we got up this morning.
I reduced that need for adventures and dangerous activities. It was challenging, but I did it. By appreciating life more the need to risk it just to amuse me slowly faded away.“
4. Do Your Thing That Makes You Happy. Now
There was another silly thing that I did with postponing things. Anything interesting that I wanted to do, I would pass it on to another day or “better” time. Any creative activity that looked cool and appealing was placed in a storage at the back of my mind. The bigger that pile of activities became, the more stressed I was about it. When would I do or participate in all those things? I just couldn’t find time to do any of that. In other words, the excuses not to fo things sounded much more appealing than finding a way to actually get down and do those things.
We always find time for the things we truly want to do. Any resentment inside is a simple indication of the resistance to change. It is some sort of a safety mechanism that engages itself whenever we are about to step into an unfamiliar situation, out of the comfort zone.
But understand this, now is a perfect time to do whatever makes you happy.
The past is gone and the future is not a definite promise. All that we can be sure of is NOW. So why postpone cool things for later?
5. Fewer Expectations from Others
The less you expect from others, the less you are disappointed. The only person you should expect something from is yourself. What you do is what you get.
When we live without mental frames and old limitations of EXACT expectations of what we want our life to be like, we get a life as it is. No expectations and disappointments.
Be calm, stay positive and great things will happen.
What are you willing to do today, that can improve all your tomorrows?
photo from vk.com