Before you react, think. Before you quit, try. – William Arthur Ward
In the roaring waters of daily life that consists of challenges, tough decisions, people, problems and consequences it seems virtually impossible to stay calm and composed while what’s happening around turns its whirlpool and makes your head go spinning.
When the fast going river of life takes over, we feel as if we gave in and lost control and the only thing to do is to surrender and go with the flow of whatever new challenges that tomorrow might bring.
When something unexpected happens it’s hard to refrain from lashing out. What we need is some time to think in a place where we can get a grip. A place where you can always go back to calm down and then with refreshed mind carry on with your daily challenges.
Calmness as a Healthy Habit: 7 Tiny Reminders
1. Minding Our Own Business
Once in a while we have this tendency to wear a superhero cape and fly about our day trying to save as many “lost souls” as possible and put their life into correct (according to our BEST judgement) perspective. We treat someone else’s problems as our own. Imagine it as if you had a laundry basket placed on top of your head and, as you walk along your day, other people’s problems flee to your basket making it overwhelming and impossible to comprehend.
There is no need to take someone else problems which they are eager to dump on your shoulders. Learn to say no without feeling guilty. Release your life from excessive stress by minding your own business and letting people tackle their own challenges.
2. Forgive & Release
Some of us feel stressed and depressed about things that happened in the past. Our mind runs restless trying to come up with possible alternatives to how things turned out in reality. Which is pointless. When your mind is busy tackling problems of the past it runs out of creative energy to solve current problems HERE and now in the present.
Forgive the situation that happened in the past. Understand the value it gave you and what it taught you. Feel blessed for getting that lesson that made you stronger and release the pain. Forgive and release.
3. In Search of Public Approval
I was a sucker for public praise and appreciation. Throughout my life, I’ve been doing things the best I could and then overlooking my shoulder to see if someone was watching my success in awe. I was so thirsty for other people’s opinions that I completely forgot to value the most important one: my own opinion about the things I did and the results I was getting.
For some reason, nothing I did seem to be good enough. And that endless chatter-box of negative self-talk wouldn’t think to shut up for a second. My self-confidence went tumbling down with every negative (or so it was perceived) comment received from the people I admired.
I was looking for encouragement elsewhere instead of giving it to myself and reinforcing it by getting positive results. I guess I wasn’t capable of loving myself enough (not in an egoistical way though) and to be my own person that gives two big thumbs up of approval. That was my mistake for many-many years which caused great stress and unrest to my mind, body and soul.
One day I realised that there was no point in searching for that ultimate source of confidence in someone else’s pockets. There was no point in waiting for praises while all this time could have been spent on focusing on good results and improvements where necessary. Long story short – it’s always a good idea to be in charge of your own approval. This way you don’t have to stress about what others think. Opinions are like seasons, they change. The only opinion that YOU ARE AWESOME shall be your never changing foundation for your SUCCESS and aspirations.
4. Envy is Never an Option
Sometimes life is anything but a picnic and in the swamp of never ending everyday challenges, somebody else’s life may seem to be like a cloudless sky with a meadow inhabited with colourful butterflies and full of bliss.
Someone might have more than you do. Someone might be the embodiment of success, prosperity and glory. And our heart fills up with envy and there is only one question in mind: how come they have more than I do? How come they are more successful than I am? It must be ONLY LUCK that they are where they are. And unproductive thoughts like that cloud our day instead of focusing on improving our life… It is a pointless exercise.
Comparisons and envy will do your life no good. They only take your focus away from the things that matter most: how to improve your own life. But identifying exactly the things that you want in your life – that’s what gives you that vital confidence and a leg up to your motivation to go and get it.
You are entitled to the life you’ve always imagined living. It is up to you to go for it and to find your bliss on the other side of what seems to be your fear.
5. Changing the world. Start with yourself.
Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself. – Rumi
6. Accept What You can’t Change. Or Change Your Mind.
7. Never Take a Bite Bigger Than You Can Chew
…that’s what my mum has a tendency to remind me when I set the bar too high overwhelming myself with that race for excellence wanting it all and wanting it all NOW.
Sometimes we overestimate the things we get into without second guessing our ability to get ourselves back from that entanglement.
What we need to remember is, however, big results we might be expecting from our actions, there is no need to race and stress out and postpone the happiness for better times to come.
There is no need to take huge responsibilities when you know clearly they are probably way too overwhelming.
Worrying is that fire that burns our creative and vital energy… Without that energy, we can’t live to the fullest. We need to be mindful about the sources of stress and create a blissful stress-free place in our heart. A sanctuary where we are calm, composed and serene. A place where we can always go back have a rest for a while and keep our cool when new hot situations strike to evaluate what we were made of. Whatever the challenges are, keep your cool and keep your peace of mind.