how to improve your life
Our life is built on many grounds (or plateaus), many of which aren't ever really our own. We start off as children in a home that is built with a lifestyle we must abide by and our first lessons to stand on. We then go to school and conform to another ground of rules of being - to fit in, to follow rules, to do your work. Then we go into the world and find jobs/careers with rules and environments to follow. These are all grounds that are laid out for us, that we must walk through to eventually find our own.
My struggle to make big decisions wasn’t limited to my career. I remember lying awake in the middle of the night, wondering whether I should or could remain in a relationship with someone who had repeatedly betrayed my trust but who I deeply loved. All of these situations had one unwanted element in common: fear of making the “wrong” decision. How can we bring ease and peace to the decision-making process? Here is what has worked for me, and I believe it will work for you, too...
I believe narcissism is a big piece of the puzzle. For a long time, I held back from loving myself because I thought it was selfish and narcissistic. I thought to be a good person; you should concentrate on loving and taking care of other people. I thought if I was a good enough person, then someone else would discover my goodness and maybe decide I was loveable too. Then, I thought, I would feel loved. I understand now that being narcissistic is actually the exact opposite of self-love. Being narcissistic means living in service to the person you think you “should” be, rather than unconditionally loving yourself just the way you are! Do you find it challenging to truly love and take care of yourself?