“The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it.”
― J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan
For a second, think of a moment when your mood and confidence depended on the number of likes you’ve got on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest or any other place that is currently trading social currency? Or think of an avalanche of notifications hitting your locked screen of your phone and how it makes you feel at that moment…
In the digital age of Social Media, likes, and clicks and followers and the number of our post being shared – some of us might link a bit of crucial feeling of self-worth to it, crowdsourcing the confidence, so to speak, to online communities and friends we’ve made on Facebook and Twitter.
To some, it might be hard to process, but no one necessarily cares that much. Okay, they do care; but also they don’t care at the same instance. What the heck am I talking about?! Well, you see, it took me ages to realize that it’s not other individuals’ 24/7 job to make us FEEL good. But, somehow, we tend to rely on other people to thumb our posts up; let us know how awesome and epically amazing we are… or whatever we might crave to hear.
Seriously?! Are we hellbound chasing those likes and sweet-tasting compliments? That’s not the greatest source of confidence or motivation, isn’t it?! Why? Because by default it only derives from all the external things…
Where Does Unstoppable Self-Confidence Come From?
Confidence starts with doing things for yourself. No. Not in a selfish fashion, so to speak. We are only here for a limited time only; so you might as well enjoy the ride while you still can. And please, please… stop worrying so much about what other individuals might think about you. What makes you feel better? Start taking care of yourself: of your thoughts, of your feelings, of your emotions and everything comprising your beautiful and unique eternal world. I mean that.
It’s never about them taking their time to thumb those post of yours up. Let’s respect the fact that other individuals have their own lives. Trust me, far from everyone out there are sitting and anticipating for you to do something EPIC so they might say: “Holly cow, you are AWESOME!”
The second we stop trying too damn hard, we will get all the acknowledgment we seek. Always push and be confident. Always. Never rely on external sources: such as compliments and attention.
Next to no one feels crazy about being around attention-seekers. No. People love being around confident individuals mainly because it’s an earth-shattering trait that ignites others to do better things;.
This Will Lead You to Unstoppable Self-Confidence
Confidence starts with an undying self-belief
Confidence starts with a self-belief. With the belief that you are worthy. Good news is that it is something you could channel from within yourself!
How about swapping a limiting belief that you can’t with a liberating idea that you can?! It’s not that complicated as it might seem at first glance.
We are NEVER defined by how many likes, sweet-tasting compliments, or pats on the shoulder we get.
We have way more outstanding capabilities than we might think of. The only task is to dig and look deeper inside ourselves, never outside.
Confidence comes from experience
Confidence comes from experience and experience comes from trying new things and failing occasionally.
Take this example for instance. Recently, I came to Malta to renew my PADI open water diver license. I haven’t been under water for a good couple of years. Did my confidence dissipate because of that? Well, who am I to deny – yes, it did… I was petrified! It felt like getting back on a bike trying to ride; forgetting how to do the simplest things. Scary! Confidence vanished. Completely.
The second I went underwater, I questioned every thought and every move because I knew that with any mistake… each movement could be my last. Simple as that.
I had quite a few rough diving days. And I would stay awake petrified throughout the night thinking about the early morning start, only to expose myself to more anxiety under water and pure horror of the swirling thoughts that were trying to stir me clear of “danger”; keeping me safe in my comfort zone – where nothing exciting ever happens.
The weather next day wasn’t great; the sea was stormy, and the visibility wasn’t stunning either. When the anxiety was about to hit with a brick, and I was about to lose control of my thoughts… I started with my WHY.
Why am I even doing this? “LL, it’s cold, it’s January, and the ocean is so damn freezing. WHY oh WHY can’t you stay on a safe and sunny shore and sip the Sprits you are so fond of?!”– the good and loving safety mechanism was trying to kick in and dictate what I was meant to do instead of exploring the murky waters of Malta; exploring the murky waters of my fears also. See, my love for diving, my heart for it outweighed all the fears and anxiety that tried to tag along with it. With the WHY my confidence kicked back in. That’s how my rough shipwreck diving days from living hell turned into voluntary participation.
Confidence comes from experience and experience comes from trying new things and occasionally failing… then trying again without stopping. In everything: studying, work, love, relationships, fulfillment. The more we stubbornly choose to expose ourselves and say yes to experiences, the more we are getting out there no matter how bumpy the road of exploring gets. We learn we grow; we move on to new lessons… like opening an advent calendar – one day at a time.