Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else;
you are the one who gets burned. – Buddha
Life is hectic and it reminds us of that race with no end to it. The growth of stress levels triggers internal strings of anger, aggression and resistance towards new things and challenges. Sometimes we feel helpless. Sometimes we are so angry we want to scream and yet somehow we refrain from doing it.
Anger is a powerful burning emotion. When we are being held hostage of anger we feel that the more we throw ourselves into that storm, the deeper it draws us into swirling ocean waves.
Understand this. Anger is an emotion. It has a massive charge of power. It’s ok to experience it once in a while. But when it comes to releasing it by waving it goodbye, that’s when some trouble may appear. We need to understand what triggers anger and how we can release it with ease.
Why We Get Angry and How to Get Rid of Anger
1. Emotional Burnout
Emotional burnout is that state when you’re tired of being tired. You feel as if you are that squeezed lemon with far too many responsibilities and commitments. You probably sleep less than 7-8 hours every night and your workplace almost turned into your second home. The jars full of aggression are bubbling like crazy and ready to burst. You feel helpless and guilty if you say no to anybody who asks you to do something and you don’t feel like going through with that request. Resentment inside of you grows even bigger until you cannot take it anymore and you are about to faint out of exhaustion… Is it familiar to you?
Take a break. Seriously. Do something good for yourself. Go for a run and catch some fresh air. All sorts of physical activities are very helpful in releasing that excessive energy. And then again it’s the cheapest remedy to rid yourself of that stress that causes aggression and other derivatives. Go for a swim and then try sauna at your local gym. Sign yourself up for a pampering evening with massage and spa treatments. Whatever your idea of taking care of yourself is – just go with it.
2. Not THE Place & Time
Some negative feelings and aggression can grow inside us ready to release itself at any given moment. They never understand the concept of the “right place and time”. They just sit there impatiently twisting and turning making us feel more uncomfortable. In other words anger can be a consequence of this ban on expression of feelings. This may be due to an emotionally charged work.
People who deal with other people all day every day, people who keep that protocol of politeness, friendly smile and other pillars of kindness should always be very cautious without any excessive expression of feelings and emotions.
Any emotion is there to express. The problem is sometimes we just cannot help it and stay silent and wait for the appropriate moment to let it go. The answer here is simple. If you are in a situation when you are about to burst out with anger, calm down. Keep your cool. Imagine as if you made a sip of water and hold it in your mouth without swallowing. It will stop you from saying something you would regret shortly afterwards.
Express your emotions in the right place and at the right time. Think for a while until you commit to it.
3. Choose Your Reaction Better
Often our aggressive outbursts are just a reflection of somebody else’s aggression.
“We had this guy Matt in our team. He was negative about everything. Angry, arrogant and aggressive. Constantly. In fact, I never met anyone more aggressive than him in my entire life and career. At first I gave in. I was pouring my aggression as the answer to his behaviour. Then I’ve stopped when I realised how childish the whole thing was. I started noticing that his major role of the day was to go and find faults in other people then rub them into their noses.
My co-workers were annoyed with Matt beyond beliefs. That’s why I became even more curious. What was the motivation behind his behaviour? He reminded me of that cat that runs from corner to corner poking as many spectators as possible, striving for attention and emotion outbursts at any given price. As if he was feeding himself from it.” – shared my friend Mark.
When you are looking for grey, you most certainly will find grey everywhere. Free yourself from seeing wrong in people and yourself. Choose your reaction wisely. You are always in charge how to react in any given circumstance.
4. Aggression Can Be Healthy
Healthy aggression is an essential element of self-preservation instinct that sits inside everyone. Since ancient times when someone infringes on our personal space, freedom and even life, we automatically push our alert button to switch on our “defence mechanism”. This applies to the instinct to protect our life from any danger. It manifests healthy ambitions in business, sports and any other spheres of our social life as individuals.
You see, anger isn’t always an exceptionally negative thing to experience. Sometimes it’s that necessary catalyst we need to succeed in things we would have never succeeded in a normal peaceful state of mind. Sometimes it’s nothing more but a fuel to get us places, but only if we turn its energy and put it into the right perspective.
5. The Power of Metamorphoses
It is essential to remember, that any emotion is fully charged with energy. There’s no need to label it good or bad. Or even bottle down those emotions without releasing them. It just can make your outcomes worse.
What I’m trying to say is that it is helpful to learn more about that power of metamorphoses. Seeing good in every “bad” situation. Turning one thing into another.
I know from my personal experience that it can be challenging. But when you practise more and you stick with that positive habit of turning your energy from anger into some other form of positive energy – this is when your life becomes better.
Learn to define your anger and where it came from. What message does it bring? What is it trying to say to you or alert you about? Give it a little bit of your time to analyse it. Then, find the most suitable tool for you to release it and let it go with peace.