It was a rush hour; I was at Waterloo Station walking in a trance-like state, oblivious to getting run over by the stampede of commuters in their pursuit to get home. I didn’t care about them, in short I didn’t care about anything or anyone. I was so low and fed up at that moment in time it was irrelevant where I was or what was happening. Slowly approaching my platform I mused over what I could do to escape my own life and feel a sense of purpose again.
I wanted to feel some excitement and motivation once more and not just be a witness to the daily monotonous routine I was trapped in.
I had a passionless relationship, I hated my job, and I was constantly worrying about money and the debt I had racked up on my credit cards. Something had to give and I was on the verge of having a breakdown. All I ever seemed to do was work and worry but it never made any difference. I was on a never ending roundabout and at my wits end.
What I really wanted at that point was a ray of sunshine to light the way and guide me onto the right path.
I felt so empty and miserable that even the thought of happiness was a foreign concept. I wanted to be happy but I didn’t know how to be – not with the way things were.
That bleak day still remains a very vivid memory for me, as I just wanted to literally lay down and give up. Luckily I mustered up enough strength to soldier on. I have ploughed on ahead in chasing my own personal vision of happiness and have benefited as a result. I have written this article to share my findings and help others find some light and hope in their days of despair too.
What is Happiness?
Happiness. A very common and overused word – one which we all hear on a daily basis, but what does it actually mean? Can anyone provide a definitive explanation? I looked it up and it turns out that no: even dictionaries of the highest calibre seem to struggle.
Amongst my research frequent words that did continue to crop up when describing ‘happiness’ was feeling/emotion i.e. ‘to feel happy’ or to ‘experience happiness’. Many other connotations included; contentment, bliss, excitement, delighted, euphoric, and a high sense of well-being.
So there you have it – not only is happiness a word that eludes us, but it is also indescribable as a feeling and/or experience.
Forgive me for sounding cynical, but I believe that a state of ‘happiness’ is a very loose, subjective term that most spend a lot of their lives in search of but very seldom manage to obtain for more than a short period of time.
Why? Because they are so intent on ‘being happy’, that they overlook sources of happiness already acquired. In short, some are obsessed with money and material possessions, others believe they can only be happy when they’re in a relationship or with a certain someone, whilst certain individuals feel they must be competing to have the very best of everything and only then will they have achieved complete all round happiness.
Happiness is a Choice
Of course, as human beings, it is only natural that we strive for more and set goals for ourselves. Life is full of opportunities and it is only right that we should seize them in order to fulfil our true potential. However, one must remember that life is not about the destination, it’s all about the journey. There is no point searching for a higher quality of life in the hope that it will automatically bring about contentment and/or joy. Your pursuit will be never ending!
Being an ambitious person myself, I am all too familiar with this double-edged sword.
Over the years, it has occurred to me how I have witnessed people and families in life who appear to have very little, although they seem to be completely satisfied and at ease with life. At the other end of the spectrum are those who apparently have everything they could possibly wish for, yet they are far from being content. Surely, the answer is obvious isn’t it? The former type of people has discovered the true value of life and thereby are focused on the fundamental foundations of what constitutes as being ‘happy’. So what is their secret?
Creating Some Happiness Today
In my opinion and from my own personal encounters, true happiness is internal and can only come from within. External superficialities may give us pleasure but it does not last – it is extremely short lived. Although I still have a lot to learn about life, the following pointers are great reminders in helping me on my quest for a content and more meaningful experience in the world, and in my own personal one. I am confident these tips will help you too and if practiced will prevent you from reaching the stage I once got to.
1. Be More Appreciative
Observe what is around you and think of all there is to be grateful for. Make a list of all the good things in your life and read it frequently (every day if possible)
2.We all have problems but…
We all have problems but when you feel overcome, think about your past dilemmas and how you dealt with them. Be assured – there is always a solution!
No matter what the situation, you have answers and resources at your disposal – you just need to find them. Another thing to remember is that compared to others, you are lucky. Someone in the world is far worse off than yourself.
3. Appreciate Yourself more!
What makes you happy? Get into the habit of doing something daily, weekly and monthly that you enjoy (big or small). Treat yourself frequently and have some ‘me time’ to enhance satisfaction in your life.
4. Mindfulness Without any Noise or Distractions
Try to spend at least ten minutes a day just by yourself to meditate and relax. Close your eyes, take deep breaths, and just imagine being somewhere nice – anywhere you choose. Similar to daydreaming, it is great fun and allows you some peace and quiet, bringing an element of tranquility to your busy day.
If you are feeling particularly down, remembering a specific happy moment in your life and going back to experience that in your mind will help lift your spirits. Your brain is very clever so if you practice this technique regularly, it will become second nature when you’re feeling blue.
5. Think of Those You Love and Care For
What small acts of kindness can you demonstrate to make a difference in their lives? Even if it just means spending more time with them – giving is its own reward and will give you a ‘warm fuzzy glow’ afterwards, knowing that you’ve made someone else happy.
6. What Are Your Goals?
If you could improve aspects of your life what would you do? These do not have to be big or expensive changes; sometimes just brainstorming some short and long term goals can help you to reflect on where you are right now and where you would like to be moving forward. This will add more value to your life bringing about a purpose and something to strive for. Small steps towards specific goals will keep you motivated and provide a sense of accomplishment.
7. Learning and Developing Skills in Areas You Are Passionate About
Are there any hobbies or interests you wish you had more time to pursue? Stop procrastinating and find the time! Learning and developing skills in areas we are passionate about is not only great fun but adds variety to our routine. A break from our daily grind to enjoy some leisure helps to minimize stress levels. It is also a great way to meet others who you have common ground with.
8. Taking a More Positive Approach Towards…
Smiling and taking a more positive approach towards challenges is a fantastic way to elevate your mood. Although not always easy, if we get into the habit of smiling more (even when we don’t feel like it!) and seeing ‘the silver lining in a cloud’ it becomes contagious and people around you will respond accordingly, which will impact on the overall outcome/situation.
Smiling and taking a more positive approach towards challenges is a fantastic way to elevate your mood. Although not always easy, if we get into the habit of smiling more (even when we don’t feel like it!) and seeing ‘the silver lining in a cloud’ it becomes contagious and people around you will respond accordingly, which will impact on the overall outcome/situation.
9. Sportify!
Make sure you are physically healthy and maintaining some fitness daily. This does not mean necessarily going to the gym but just attempting to be more active. For example, taking the stairs instead of the elevator or if you’re not going far, walking instead of driving etc. Exercise has a positive influence on our mental wellbeing in addition to our physical state. A balanced, healthy diet and adequate sleep is also important and directly relates to our general mood.
10. Give Yourself a Pat on The Back
Create a list of all your achievements – give yourself some credit. This can be anything you feel you have worked hard for; whether it be emotional, mentally, physically or spiritually. When we succeed we often forget this part in our rush to move onto the next ‘big thing’. Whatever changes you would like to make in your life, start now. If you feel out of your depth in doing so, review all of your success and use it as inspiration to reach new heights.