By Lesya Li (also featured on Cloris Kylie’Blog)
“Our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world as being able to remake ourselves.” – Gandhi
We want to be happy, fulfilled and be at peace. What can we start doing today that will put us on that path? We can start by giving up these six things…
6 Things to Give Up for Happiness, Fulfillment, and Peace
#1. Self Doubt
So many people won’t go for the better chance in life only because they doubt themselves…
Why? No one likes the idea of looking incompetent in front of the others. That’s why we choose “safer” options to stay on the ground instead of going for the Moon shot.
What thoughts do you tend to choose to nurture your mind?
Negative thinking is a toxic habit. Can we change that? Of course, we can. Will it happen overnight? Nope. By starting now we can choose to become more aware of the way we think and approach life.
Next time when a negative thought appears, ask yourself this: is it helpful?
When we change the way we think, we get different results. Instead of negative thoughts that lead to disappointment, nurture your mind with positive thoughts.
Doubt your doubts before doubting yourself and your abilities to achieve your goals.
#2. Fear of Failure
Emphasized worrying and fear of failure is a massive misuse of imagination.
When was the last time you felt uneasy even though everything panned out to your benefit in the end?
Did the wave of relief wash over your face when you realized that you had nothing to worry about?
I was wasting my imagination on worrying for years! I was coming up with new “horrific” outcomes of what might happen. Instead of focusing on improving something, I would spend ages procrastinating and worrying.
Does this sound familiar?
One thing helped me, though. One simple thought: any day above the ground is a great day!
It puts all worries on a bigger scale and lets us assess what is really worth wasting our health worrying on. And quite frankly, nothing is worth your health!
So let the worries go and spend your time better preparing for tomorrow.
#3. Criticizing Others
Have you ever been mistreated or judged? Have you ever judged someone too? It’s easier to pass judgment instead of trying to see things from different angle.
No one has the right to judge you. The same rule applies when we attempt to judge others. Judgments and assumptions are based on our thoughts and have nothing to do with people in the subject.
Could we ever fit in their shoes and walk a mile to understand them better? To experience all struggles that resulted in the way they behave, or say the things they say…
We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. – Paulo Coelho
Take a moment and imagine for a minute what it’s like to be in their shoes?
Try to become more understanding. Even when it feels like an impossible mission… We all yearn to be heard and understood, don’t we?
Find that beam of kindness in your heart and let it lead you through the days when we need to deal with tough situations and people.
Criticizing Yourself
We all have that tiny voice of inner critic rattling, don’t we? It goes on and on and never seem to shut up. It spreads the seeds of self-doubt impacting deeper on the way we feel about ourselves.
I had that negative chatterbox turned on without realizing how damaging it was.
So wise thing to do is: start questioning your negative self-talk and be vigilant of how you feel when something sour is about to turn bitter.
Think about positive self-talk that reinforces your faith in your abilities and your talents.
Example: “I will make it through a presentation with a standing ovation!”.
Build a new foundation of reinforcing positive self-talk. That would give you a firm grip to move forward in life believing in your potential.
Procrastination
Procrastination is a bridge. A bridge between two uncertainties of an outcome that can go both ways. It’s about whether you fail or succeed if you do something that you are prolonging to get done.
Procrastination is that bridge that gives you a false sense of comfort. You catch your breath there. You don’t need to decide… you postpone and postpone…
We all want to avoid pain and rush ourselves towards pleasures as fast as possible. We wish to skip the whole turmoil of going through the process of “getting things done”.
Why? Because we associate what we postpone accomplishing with pain. That’s why it is a natural strive avoid doing those things.
The more aware you are about the things you do and the motives, the easier it gets to stop and say to yourself: you CAN do it. One step at a time. Starting NOW.
The Need to be Liked and Accepted
Back in school, I believed that to be an intelligent nerd was something dirty. I didn’t want other kids to feel bad when they wouldn’t get the marks I was getting.
To them, my accomplishments seemed effortless… where in reality both of my parents were working and coming home late when I was already asleep. So my main source of companionship and “entertainment” was hidden in books. I never felt lonely and deserted while I was reading.
Reading expands your mind as well as your imagination, creativity, and understanding of how things work.
I never wanted to stand out from anyone else because I was afraid that my peers wouldn’t like me for that, but I did. I did stand out whether I liked it or not.
We do care less what others might think of us with time.
We will never discover what others think of us anyway. So why feeding our minds with our own assumptions of “what they might think?!”
Any day is a good day to release yourself from it and grant yourself peace. And it’s our job to like and accept ourselves.
We all face struggles and challenges. We worry we deal with issues, we move on. What’s up to us is to change the way we think and approach life so we get better outcomes.