The most valuable thing that we can give to somebody is our time. We cannot turn it back or give it in advance. We can choose to be with someone here and now by giving them our full undivided attention.
What happens when you run through your day picking up a new to-do-list full of commitments? What happens when you give, give, give all you have neglecting yourself more and more? Have you ever felt that feeling of resentment towards yourself and jealousy of at the same time?
The feeling of willingness to find time for everything else in the world, yet forgetting to pinch off a little bit of that pie of your time to yourself.
Our relationship with ourselves is one of the most important things. Hardly ever we can be happiness if we are not at peace with ourselves. When you turn your attention inwards, you begin that special connection with nature, life and universe that you are a part of.
Every connection with people is a reflection of the most important relationship you have with yourself.
How to Find Time for Yourself
1. Become Aware of Self-Neglect and Rejection
“I gave most of my time to my friends and family. I was so proud to be that golden shoulder to cry on. I was ready to give advice even if people didn’t necessarily want that advice. I found it interesting to swirl in the world of people solving their problems. I was active. My life was hectic.
But then something happened. The more I tried to help someone and spend time with them, the more resentment I felt towards myself. I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. What was wrong? The thought ‘Not good enough’ was haunting me for months. Despite it, I was rushing and chasing that virtue of excellence trying to make it on time everywhere.
And then it hit me. When was the last time I went to the gym or for a run? When was the last time I found a whole hour to read a book that’s been sitting on my list for several years now? Would the hell break loose if I find a minute for myself? A moment to think, a moment to reflect… a moment to breathe? And then I’ve realised that I had to change the way I run through my life neglecting myself…” – shared my friend Ann.
2. You Owe Yourself an Apology
Nobody’s perfect. I’m sure there are some things in our past we are not proud of. And we go through life “trying to make it right” doing everything possible to make amends. We think that we are not worthy of our self-love and attention. And we punish ourselves for our mistakes.
This negative mind frame that runs on the loop keeps us grounded. It makes us bitter. It gives an impossible task for our mind to run through all the possible alternative outcomes of the time long gone. It often keeps us up at night depriving us of our sleep.
You owe yourself an apology. Forgive yourself. There is no need to waste your present moment thinking and worrying about past situations. It’s useless. Forgive yourself. Release yourself from self-casted chains.
We are here to learn. Every situation gives us a valuable lesson. We are here to become better, not bitter.
3. You Are Worthy of Your Time
Some think that when we attempt to love ourselves it turns us into egocentrics. This couldn’t be more wrong. Egoism is an exaggerated sense of self-importance. It’s a desire to rub it in other people’s faces. Egoism derives from the deepest fear of rejection, thus it acts in reverse attempting to gain the attention of others. It strives to feel and express an IMPORTANCE and the worthiness by all means. When egoistic people step into a room they try to suck in all the air by filling the whole available space like gas.
Self-love derives from a different source and has nothing to do with egoism.
We spent so much time longing for love, waiting for someone to give us that. When we expect love from the outside and for some reasons don’t get what we hoped for, we feel bitter and neglected. To genuinely love others, we need to start from loving, respecting and appreciating ourselves. The source was all along within us. I see it as a beautiful fountain in the middle of a blooming garden on a nice, warm, sunny day. It runs and gives its love and it never dries out…
We need to love ourselves and appreciate the fact of our existence in this world. There is a purpose in every life. Same applies to my life, to your life and to other people’s lives.
4. Start Your Day With a Positive Attitude
Live in appreciation. Begin your day with a positive attitude. Create this habit of waking up and filling up your mind with positive statements you believe in.
What you believe in becomes your reality. So encourage yourself. Motivate yourself and have faith that everything will work out the way you want.
Your thoughts create your future right NOW. It is up to you what it’s going to be like.
5. Activities Expansion
Most of us know that team building activities within the company bring positive effects. How about creating a space in your day dedicated solely to the expansion of your activities?
If you are not used to this idea to have some time for yourself, start with something simple. Start with something you really wanted to try but was postponing it for some reason. We are living in the moment of NOW. Why delay something and send it to never-ever-day if you can do something from that list now?
If you don’t have the list of the things you want to experience – create it today. Why not?
It’s ok to state what you want on that piece of paper. It’s ok to realise what it means to you. It’s ok to want things and go for them. It’s ok to do something nice and kind for yourself.
Understand one simple thing: your presence here is a present.
It’s true. One of the most valuable lessons we came here to learn is to love ourselves truly, genuinely, kindly.
6. Take Time for Yourself
If you never tried meditation but were curious about it, why not try it today? Find some calming and relaxing music that is the most compelling to you. Read a thing or two on how to begin your practice and off you go. Meditation brings more focus and clarity. It calms your mind by ridding it of little things that keep you stressed.
Think about an area in your life where you need more clarity and understanding. Then hold it as the subject of your meditation today. Tomorrow think about something new you would love to work on… Spending time with yourself is valuable, it’s priceless.
If you have a sedentary lifestyle turn things around by introducing 15-20 min walk. It is therapeutic. It also clears your mind and enriches your brain with oxygen. If you have a nice park with a lake or a river nearby – it is relaxing for your eyes to see peaceful movements of water. Gove it a go.
By spending more time with yourself you will see how your life will be filled with new colours of self-love, joy, and happiness.
We all want to be happy, don’t we? Let’s start with loving ourselves and treat our hearts with kindness…
Photo from vk.com