Haven’t we learn the hard way that our anger often derives from frustrated expectations?
This leaves us with the following question: what shall we STOP expecting from others to avoid unnecessary frustration?
1. What Hides Behind Expecting Them to Do the Right Thing
Let’s keep in mind that moral principles of all people vary and are built upon many factors, such as education, culture, religion, upbringing and so forth.
Let’s say, your close friend grew accustomed to swearing like a trooper, whereas you have never spoken a profane word and consider yourself clean as a whistle.
Do you perceive swearing as a self-expression tool your friend chooses to use? Or does it make him wrong for swearing at all? Often the truth is nothing more but a battle of perceptions.
Expecting people to “always do the right thing” according to our precise standards will only promise us one thing: a bitchslapping disappointment!
2. Real People Aren’t Perfect
What life would have looked like if the world was filled with individuals who has never screwed up at anything?
Allow others to make mistakes and learn from that experience. If you choose to never perceive drawbacks as something negative, you will never be disappointed with others.
3. Every Word You Say Isn’t Something They Have to Agree With
Practice shows that even best friends don’t always agree with each other. Never get upset when someone is hellbound to challenging the system of your beliefs and opinions or when they simply have a drastically different outlook on life. Right there, our unique standpoints allow this planet to evolve by finding better solutions to sophisticated problems.
4. If Only They Could READ My Mind, But…
Unfortunately, people can’t read our mind, so we should stop expecting them to.
You might be more intuitive which enables you to read other people faster, and that’s great! Though, it doesn’t mean that others have the same inclination.
Wouldn’t it be nice to learn how to express our thoughts loud and clearly, so others don’t have to play “guessing games” trying to figure out exactly what you’ve meant by this or that?
Open, transparent and honest communication allows us to build a healthy and trusting relationship.
5. Who’s Gonna Catch Me When I Fall?
Without a hint of doubt, closest friends, and the loved ones would do anything to help when we need it. Though we have to stop expecting them always to be there and ready to catch us when we fall.
Let’s keep in mind that others are also preoccupied with their burdens, commitments, and problems; us expecting them to share our load helping us carry it, might become that last notorious straw that breaks camel’s back.
This doesn’t mean that others don’t care about you and what you are going through, it means that sometimes you have to rely on your strengths and be able to tackle the challenges on your own.
6. Did You Get Me Right?!
What makes perfect sense to you, might never make any sense to everyone else. That’s okay. As long as you are in tune with yourself, you don’t need anyone’s approval and acceptance of your journey.
We have to stop expecting others to get us right all the time.
People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost.” ― Dalai Lama XIV
7. Some Won’t Treat You The Way You Treat Them
Wouldn’t it be great if we could treat each other with respect and compassion and expect others to treat us the same way in return? Wouldn’t it be nice to follow this golden rule?
The world is not perfect. Some people just prone to treat us poorly no matter how kind and nice we might be treating them in return.
What if they were through so much in their life, that hardened their hearts… and they have just forgotten for a while how to treat others kindly?
Take a moment and imagine yourself looking at their attitude from a compassionate standpoint, and you will feel less hurt when people treat you less kindly as you would have hoped.
8. Everyone’s Changing, and I Don’t Feel the Same
Everyone’s changing through experience and the circumstances we face. We are never the same as we were a month or a year ago. Each day we fight our battles that make perfect sense to us; others face their challenges too trying to find meaning in this complicated mess we call life. Keep that in mind. Try to become less judgmental and more compassionate.
9. No One Will Give You the Love You Deserve Unless You Learn to Love Yourself first
All relationships start with you. It is fundamentally crucial to get to love yourself first. Above all, developing the ability to love and respect yourself, will provide you with the baseline where you can build beautiful and sincere relationships with others.
10. We Don’t Have it all Figured Out
Life is outrageously great at throwing curveballs our way now and then. We don’t have it all together all the time. We haven’t figured things out. It’s a process. It’s a daily process true for you, and me, and them. We do anything in our power to be the best we can be today. There’s no point in trying to control or lashing out at others because of the way they choose to handle their lives.
Lead your life in a way that makes you happy, and allow others to lead their lives they see fit best for them.