I became a big fan of notorious TV Series “Californication”. I won’t go deep into my subjective thoughts on why this show is bad or good, let’s put it plainly, it made me wonder even more: Why Do Women Like Bad Boys?
What is it that makes us tick in excitement whenever somebody like Hank Moody, or House, or even Charlie Harper passes us by? Therefore, let’s try to understand what is really going on? Why are our soul, body and mind often drawn towards “bad boys” whereas our minds and better set of judgements choose “nice guys” instead?
Who Is a “Bad Boy”?!
Let me start with this. Keep in mind that we shall differentiate “Bad Boys” with quote marks from people we consider, forgive me, as plain jerks.
A “Bad Boy” always knows what he wants and he seldom keeps his mind occupied with a subject “what others might think”. This guy is always self-dependent. In terms of work, he will most likely be willing to think only about his own leverage. Some people see a “Bad Boy” as a shark that will never stop until he succeeds smashing whatever may come across his path. The truth is,”Bad Boy” rarely gives in to sentiments considering them a waste of time. In some ways, you might see him as cruel and self-observed but at the same time crazily handsome and irresistibly charming. It’s incredibly hard to become true friends with a person who closely fits this description, but if you do, be sure that a “Bad Boy” will always get your back like no one else and you will never have to question his loyalty… for some time. A “Bad Boy” often known as powerful and fearless. Women tend to perceive that as “masculinity”, it’s in our genes I guess.
Why Girls Like “Bad Boys”?
Naturally there are plenty of reasons why we, or some of us girls, like bad boys. But let’s concentrate on the most “logical” ones I found most compelling.
1. I’m Bullet Proof
If somebody tries to mix a “Bad Boy” with dust, don’t bother, that person will never break through or get under his skin. This guy is so rebellious that hardly anything can calm that bursting energy down. A “Bad Boy” is a perfect brew of arrogance and confidence and he seldom gives a rat’s tail who says and does what. He simply finds it hard to think about things he really doesn’t care about.
Naturally If somebody will ever try to mix a woman of His heart with turds, a “Bad Boy” will instantaneously put a Zorro mask on and become a hero in her eyes to protect her. He is a risk taker and a quick and confident decision maker. He likes praises and to be in the centre of attention, who doesn’t? Long story short, girls like to be and feel protected, forgetting to analyse the authenticity of that sense of “security”. And they often think that a confident/arrogant “Bad Boy” might be a proper match for that, she feels special… at first.
But there comes a moment and she starts to see a “bad boy” for who he really is and that sense of “secure stability” fades away faster than the fog over London. First of all, she most likely would not believe her senses that a guy in front of her is actually “bad news”, then she will come up with excuses like he had a tough day, that’s why he acts like a fool. Then, facing the fact that it is impossible to change a person unless he wants to, she will think of herself as: “Well, I guess I deserve that. I’m lonely, so it’s a good thing that at least I have this guy around”.
Some women see themselves deserving less than they actually do, that’s why they tend to believe that the most suitable variety for them are the “bad boys”. In order to change this set of beliefs, first, she has to boost her self-esteem properly.
2. Inevitable Body Chemistry
Here’s an amusing thing. I have a good friend who happens to be a curious case study in attracting “Bad Boys”. So whenever she’s around sharing yet another peculiar story of her love life including descriptions of encounters with a “Bad Boy”, naturally I tend to picture a creature godlike beautiful, handsome with an irresistible sex appeal (of course it’s all subjective, I must add). But all jokes aside, whenever she shows me the pictures of people she finds”Bad Boyish” and “very sexy” as she describes, my eyes are about to roll into the back of my head… So I often catch myself thinking: “Do you seriously find this crocodile with crooked teeth Adonis-like?! Really?! Is that the “Brad Pitt” you are going crazy about for the second month in a row?” And, on the contrary, people that I might find attractive make my friend giggle and she also cannot believe I am “serious”.
Some “Bad Boys” do not necessarily look like Ryan Gosling, Bradley Cooper or Josh Hartnett for instance. And that magnifying attraction can spark in seconds between two people. Yes, it brings a whole new spectrum of emotions to brighten the day and to spice things up a little bit at night. But the thing is, that perfect storm can and probably will fade away quickly never promising that desired “secured stability”.
3. Playing With Fire. Chase to Change
Ana, a friend of mine considers her current boyfriend a “Bad Boy”. There is always something going on in his life: sports contests, new traveling adventures, long hours, drives up to the mountains just because he feels like taking a picture of a falling star. This guy never sits still, he gives her thrills with a dash of drama and the whole rainbow of emotions! He is all about amusement and amusing himself. “It’s like playing with fire. You are never bored with him” – Ana said once.
I guess we have all been there. In that complete and utter state of boredom. Or in a state when you haven’t felt ANYTHING for a long time. That’s why many of us find any encounter with a “Bad Boy” adventurous, amusing and a grasp of fresh air.
When a “bad boy” comes along, we see the perfect storm, he enriches us for some time with all kinds of emotions we crave to experience. Then, as it often happens we become bored all over again. So we create a new game called: I CAN CHANGE HIM! And sincerely we tend to think that actually this challenging task of changing a person will be a complete success because that’s what we do. We often tend to like the potential of a person more than a person himself at this very moment.
Live, Love, Laugh
Everyone is looking for love, affection and that someone to go hand in hand facing all the ups and downs of this life. It’s a matter of choice and the level of commitment, whether or not, we want to get involved with this or that person to share our journey. Whether he is “good” or “bad” – keep in mind the map of how far you wish to go together.
We all look for stability, forgetting that nothing is definite apart from the breath we took a second ago.