“Rather than being your thoughts and emotions, be the awareness behind them.” – Eckhart Tolle
Emotions Are a Strength, Not Something to Be Ashamed of
I’m not ashamed
I am not ashamed to talk openly about my emotions.
I’m not ashamed to admit that I’m shit scared about putting my creative babies out into a world of judgments. I’m scared that people will judge and criticize my efforts. I’m scared that I’ll fall flat on my face and everyone around me will point and laugh.
But I do it anyway. With blog posts and books, I push through the fear and publish…
I’m not ashamed to admit that I feel shame.
It’s not comfortable. In fact, it feels like someone is grating the skin off my back with a cheese grater. Urgh. Shame.
I used to feel it in the morning, the day after I’ve had a few drinks and might have spoken my mind. My truth. That might have been ‘too deep’ or ‘too meaningful’, too heavy for the modern day superficial type of conversation. I used to feel it when I broke down and cried in public. Or when I didn’t quite know how I was ‘supposed’ to act in a social situation.
But I feel it less and less these days, and it’s delicious.
I’m not ashamed to admit that I get upset.
In fact, I’ve spent so much time here that I renamed the feeling altogether, I named it: crushing deflation. It’s dark, cold, empty and raw. It’s the pit that seems to go on forever.
But as soon as I committed to diving into the dark pit, I found that the edges come closer and the upset caves in. That all was left was me and my heart, still beating and winning against the avoided darkness.
As I stand up, acknowledge, and validate these emotions, something weird happens. They disappear. As though, they were never real in the first place, just an illusion created in my mind. A cloud dispersing into the mist. A reflection from a mirror which turns out to be a clear window instead…
[bctt tweet=”I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them. – Oscar Wilde” username=”havingtime”]