Until you allow yourself to fully embrace that you are 100% responsible for writing your own future, there will be always this slight disconnect between where you are and what you think about where you’re at. You can always choose to turnpain into incredible power. Start working out where the pain stems from, understand that there’s a lesson to be learned, and turn your new knowledge into massive positive action, and see yourself coming through any suffering a stronger, more resilient person.
I was 15 going on 30 when I met the man in the flashy car. Nine years my senior, I was flattered by his attention. It had been five years since the death of my father, and my mother had remarried to yet another bully; so I guess I was craving male attention.
Mr. Wrong came along and knocked me off my feet. The physical violence didn’t start for several months, but the mental abuse, although subtle to such a young mind, was there from the start.
I skipped school, attended the wrong parties and drank too much for such an immature liver. I thought I had found exactly what I needed, but the attacks on my self-esteem were constant. If I hadn’t have started writing poetry, I think I would have gone mad.
When we suffer at the hands of a toxic person, it can be hard to see the world through positive eyes; but we have to find ways of moving on. I was lucky and eventually escaped with my two young sons and was determined not to become a victim. I’m not saying I was left unscarred or unaffected by the experience, but I had a duty to myself and my boys to find a way of living with the scars.
I had grown up watching my mother being slowly destroyed at the hands of my father. An alcoholic with a vicious mouth and violent temper. I know that my childhood experiences left me vulnerable and I had the worst examples set. But I couldn’t use that as an excuse for my own mistakes.
You can always change and start a new chapter at ANY given moment. We are all ONE decision away from a totally different life.
We all have to wake up at some point and say, this is my life, and I have a choice of how I’m going to live it. I also had a duty to my sons to teach them how to treat and respect women. It was imperative that they didn’t fall into any of the traps I had escaped from.
Writing poetry is my coping mechanism when it comes to finding peace and joy and releasing deep emotional pain. Poetry helps me to tell my story, it gives me the headspace I need to be able to face all life’s twists and turns.
Love and laughter is the best medicine, and the pursuit of happiness is not something to feel guilty about, it is essential!
We have one life, make it a happy one.
A selection of Empowerment poems:
”I left to save Myself,
to preserve my sanity
before you could ruin me for future love.
I escaped, in the freshness of dawn,
barefoot but safe.
I left with nothing but the lessons you taught me and The Tales for others to hear.
Those stark warnings and bad examples never to follow.
I left …! I was finally Free !”
”I may have forgotten your words
But I’ll never forget how they made me feel.”
“Your storm of moiling fists
have scattered afar my what -ifs and maybes.
But rage away!
I’m lightning fast with
the wind behind me.”
“I will not become the hurt
It isn’t becoming.”
“And she was happy to dance alone
having found her feet !”
“But her smile showed hope,
a glint of promise that the
real Self remained.”
“She captured each tearful moment,
and feeling of self-loathing
and studied it like a rare insect.
Finally, she had it under control.”
“Dear Younger Me,
The prelude to our story was a tragic one.
But you are stronger than you think!
And you survived!
Take my hand and walk with me through time and
I will show you what you
Will become. “
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