“There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally.” – Don Miguel Ruiz
What Makes People Difficult to Get Along With?
Difficult or ‘Different’?
Understand that everyone behaves differently to you.
Accepting That We Are ALL Different Could Be Tricky, Yet Worth It
It’s easy to get carried away with anger and resentment towards difficult people we have to deal with, yet when we choose to interrupt this outburst of emotions when we take a pause and reframe, the new avenue of solutions could be suddenly discovered.
What we perceive as ‘difficult’ could just mean ‘different,’ and this little secret is incredibly helpful when it comes to understanding people; so that we can accept some differences before deciding what is unacceptable and has to be changed.
How to Get Along with Difficult People
1. Lesya Li on Dealing with Difficult People
2. Morgan Scott on Dealing with Difficult People
Step into their shoes to see from their perspective. Ask yourself “What’s their agenda or what’s in it for them?” They might be going through a hard time in their life and just projecting their pain by being difficult, so compassion from you can go along way too. You might be wrong yourself but are too proud to admit it. Saying sorry or standing down will disarm and soften your opponent. Ask yourself “By locking horns with this person, how beneficial is it in the long term and is it worth it?” Always seek a win-win. If someone loses, then we all lose.
3. Hermione Way on Dealing with Difficult People
“Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power.” – Shirley MacLaine
Try to minimise negativity in life as much as you can – that includes difficult people. When you are in a difficult situation in life or business, first of all, you have to get to the bottom of the problem – what is it that’s making them upset, what is it that they are feeling and why? It’s only when you dissect the problem that you can start to understand how to solve it. Once you unpick their problem, you can see how you can fix it and find a solution to a better route out so that everyone is happy.
4. Andy Martin on Dealing with Difficult People
Always try to be the bigger person and remember to trust your instincts. If what’s being said feels wrong it probably is. Kindness goes a long way, so pick your words carefully if you don’t want a confrontation. That being said, sometimes things need to be said, but if they do it’s important to maintain not just your dignity but theirs too. Difficult conversations can be tough but can often be necessary. Listen actively, and maybe you will get to the heart of the problem.
5. Silja Litvin on Dealing with Difficult People
“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” – Dr. Wayne Dyer
When dealing with difficult people I always follow 3 rules:
1) I start with myself. Why do I feel they are difficult? What is triggering me? Self-reflection is the nr 1 key to growth.
2) Creating strong boundaries. It’s important to understand where your “pain point” is, and to make sure they don’t cross it. Sadly, that sometimes includes unfriending them.
3) Listening to them and asking them if they are ok – usually only unhappy people are difficult.
6. Beth Allen on Dealing with Difficult People
7. Evgeny Likhoded on Dealing with Difficult People
“The difficult people who we encounter can be our greatest teachers.” ― Eileen Anglin
Try to let go of the urge to sweep problems with difficult people under the rug and resolve them early on. Follow what you think is fair in that given situation and stay calm when arguing your point if you can’t agree, find what their true motivation is behind being difficult (usually there is a fear behind it) and press on that.
8. Daniela Uslan on Dealing with Difficult People
Now, over to you, havingtimers – off the top of your hat, what is your top TIP for dealing with difficult people? Share in the comment section below!