In our darkest moments, we often wonder to ourselves, “How did I get here? What have I done in life to deserve the pain that I am going through? How do I recover from being emotionally wounded?”
Recall the last time you stood in the middle of an emotional storm trying hard to suppress negative emotions. Was it easy? And then, the voice of the ego kicked in and exacerbated the version of reality that you were experiencing at that moment.
We often feel overwhelmed by this negative voice (the ego) that makes it difficult for us to reach a place of deep healing. Whether we’re dealing with heartbreak, rejection, failure, unplanned hardships, illnesses, or death –– we begin to feel the weight of the world on our shoulders. All of our trapped emotions, unhealed trauma, and emotional pain rises to the surface, and we’re left feeling vulnerable.
We may reach out to others for help, but no one seems to understand the crisis that is occurring in our minds. All we want is to be seen, heard, and validated, but the issue is that no one can do this except ourselves.
Every person’s experience is their reality, and we have to honor that even if we may not understand their situation. As I studied the human mind to become a better therapist, this is the first thing I learned was respect for each person’s version of reality because each person has their unique experience and model of the world. But when their model of the world falters and becomes distorted, I come in to help them shift their perspective and evaluate their reality in a new light.
We all have unhealed emotional trauma, and even if we’ve attempted to heal these wounds, they sometimes still come back to haunt us.
When life seems to get the better of you, pay attention.
It’s the perfect time to stop, slow down, and reflect.
Pain is an indicator that you need to be healed. Pain is our teacher. It teaches us to appreciate the beautiful moments in life. But don’t worry when you’ve hit rock bottom. There’s only one way to go, and that is up.
When you’re at the bottom, take as much time as you need to look deep within yourself. It’s time to dive deep into the world of your subconscious fears and unhealed wounds. If you ignore this crucial period, you risk causing more damage to yourself.
Repression is like ignoring a bomb, waiting for it to explode. However, if you let yourself process the situation, you will learn new skills, such as being compassionate to yourself. Then, you’ll be able to reach the highest peaks of life.
A client of mine had experienced sexual abuse by her childhood. She suffered silently for many years until one day; she realized that she does not have to be the victim in her story. Instead, she turned her life around and decided to become a therapist that helps sexually abused children. In the darkness, she found the light.
She sat with her pain, acknowledged it, did the necessary therapeutic work, and turned her life around. Her story is not only inspiring, but it shows what we can accomplish when we sit with our pain and take the necessary steps to heal and move forward.
How to Heal When You’ve Been Emotionally Wounded
Emotional pain is something we cannot avoid, but we can learn how to deal with it when life’s uncertainties knock us down.
What to Do When Emotional Pain Arises:
Sit With It and Honor It
It’s easier to ignore, run, and hide from your pain, but in the long run, this will only cause you more damage. When pain hits you, take the time to process and evaluate your emotions.
Spend time with your pain and honor it because this is the key to your emotional freedom. Write about the feelings that come up.
How do you feel about the situation? What thoughts are repeatedly making an appearance? What fears and beliefs do you have about the situation?
Writing is a great way to release and explore your emotions.
The first thing most people tend to do is talk negatively to themselves. When things go sideways, we gravitate towards focusing on all of our “less than ideal” qualities. This is why it’s essential to be kind to yourself instead.
Imagine if this is happening to one of your friends. How would you be there to support them? What would you say to them? What would you do to help? Write it down and make a point to treat yourself in that manner.
Connect With Others
People often lean toward self-isolation when they are in pain, but isolation can be quite dangerous in some cases.
Of course, it is vital that you take the time necessary to be still with your pain. But once you feel ready, it’s time to reach out to others and allow them to give you a helping hand.
When we are in the middle of emotional pain, it’s hard for us to be rational and see the situation from a different perspective. Another person can help you reframe your mind as well as give you some encouragement when you feel that all hope is lost.
If you can’t reach out to your friends and family, go see a therapist. Most people deal with a lot of stress, and a therapist can help you alleviate it. They can also help you process your emotional pain, no matter what you may be going through.
Connect With Yourself
Now is the most crucial time to reconnect with yourself and what brings you joy. Try picking up healthy habits such as reading, doing yoga, or meditating. These are essential to your healing process, although everyone heals differently. These three habits will help you create space to nurture yourself.
Do Something That Makes You Happy
Once you’ve processed your pain a little, give yourself a break and do something that makes you happy. This will help you break free from the cycle of emotional pain.
If we sit and wallow in our pain for too long – it will be harder to escape that mental prison.
When we do things that we enjoy, it can renew a sense of hope within us. Go outside and spend some time with nature, dance or sing, create some art, or pursue anything that makes your heart feel a little lighter.
Learn From It
Regardless of the situation, there is always something to be learned.
Maybe you experienced a heartbreak so you can learn that you are enough without this other person.
Maybe you lost someone so you can learn to heal yourself and, in turn, heal others.
Maybe you lost a job so you can learn what your passion truly is.
Ask yourself, what did I learn from this challenge?
How can this situation help me grow?
Allow for Grace
You’ve done everything you can with the situation, but now it’s time to allow for grace and time to take over.
Time heals all wounds, but only if you do the necessary work. If you’ve allowed yourself to process your emotions and explore them, now it’s time to sit back and play the waiting game. Trust that the universe has something better in store for you because it always does.
When we’re trapped in our pain and a fear of the unknown future, it can cause panic as well as unnecessary stress and anxiety. However, if we trust in the universe, sometimes we’ll be surprised at what’s in store for us.
One of my clients had come to me after a recent divorce. He was stressed out and filled with anxiety about the future.
We did a regression to see where this fear began, and he recalled being in his twenties, moving to Madrid for the first time where he was about to start his doctorate residency. He had no money, was alone, and unclear about what lay ahead.
Fast forward twenty years later, and he is the chief executive of a medical company where he oversees everything. He is living a life he could’ve never imagined. Although he is processing his divorce and venturing into the unknown again, he realizes that the situation he was in twenty years earlier is quite the same as it is now. This gave him the epiphany that everything will work out in the end. He just has to trust that it will all unfold naturally as it’s supposed to.
So whatever it is that you are going through, whether it’s past emotional pain that’s been dug up or a tragedy in the present, remember that everything happens for a reason, even if we don’t understand it now.
Know that there is hope and that everything will get better with time.