When we choose to believe the phrase “we are what we think”, then our life truly stems from our thoughts. But we can’t rely solely on thoughts; at some point, we have to learn to translate our thoughts into words and eventually into actions in order to manifest our intentions. Let’s get a better understanding of how to make positive affirmations work for us.
I remember the day when I consciously made a decision to change my life; it was the day when I started devouring personal growth books. During that time, a buzz word was positive affirmations!
It all sounded like a fairy tale: repeat a certain statement of what you want to bring into your life for a number of times, and it will come to you.
I got excited: all I had to do was just repeat a positive affirmation and I can get what I want?
Right?! Okay, sign me up, I thought to myself.
I now know it was a bit gullible of me, but I was desperate for change. I was fed up with my life at that time. I hated the job I was at. I was so unhappy with my personal life.
I was desperate for change, a transformation, a breakthrough. I thought I had found a magic wand that would solve all my problems. I was excited and anticipating victory. As you might suspect, it didn’t turn out so well. Here is what happened…
Every day would begin with me citing the following positive affirmations:
I get paid for doing what I love.
I attract my soulmate.
I enjoy life with my soulmate.
I travel around the world.
I can afford nice things.
I was enthusiastically doing the affirmation exercise every day. I might have skipped a few times, but overall I was committed.
And then. Well, you’ve guessed it, nothing happened!
I was still stuck at the job I hated. I wasn’t in a loving and committed relationship. My boyfriend at that time was cheating on me. My life was in shambles. And couldn’t understand why. I got disappointed with all those gurus making big claims and sharing stories of miraculous transformation.
It was all a hoax! It didn’t work for me. In fact, I think, my life got worse.
I was humbled and needed help; I was alone in a different country (moving from Ukraine to the USA on my own in pursuit of my dreams). I felt lonely, tired, and frustrated with no-one to support or encourage. This is when I found a coach and this is how the transformation has begun for me.
Yes, working through the roadblocks with a coach was messy and incredibly unpleasant but worthwhile in the end because she helped me understand what was blocking me from creating and living my dream life.
During this process at the very beginning, I must admit, I couldn’t help but wallow in the sticky pool of negativity. It all played on repeat in my head how horrible my life was, how my boyfriend was cheating on me, how I never had enough money for the things I wanted, how no one loved me…
I had low and negative vibrations. I harbored a lot of anger and resentment towards the world and myself. I couldn’t stop but wonder why things were working out for others, but not for me?
I was stuck in negativity and needed to get out of that mental prison ASAP.
One day, we had a session by the beach in South Florida where I lived at the time. As I was staring at the crashing waves, I began to appreciate its powerful energy. And then, all of a sudden, it hit me like a ton of bricks: my energy was low and negative. My emotional state was stifling. How could anything positive come out of something so negative?
It was a lightbulb moment and an answer to why those positive affirmations weren’t working for me.
“The reason why positive affirmations don’t work is that they target the conscious level of your mind, but not the unconscious. If what you are trying to affirm is incongruent with a deeply held negative belief, then all that results is an inner struggle.”
Even though I was saying all those positive statements, out loud even, I didn’t believe in them. The affirmations I was saying were of a much higher frequency than my own energy.
When I was saying, “I create a beautiful life with my soul.” My inner voice would skeptically say, “Yeah, right! Your current boyfriend is cheating on you. Whom are you kidding, Anna?”
My aspirations were way too high up, in the land of dreams. Yet, the inner voice of my “truth” was quite low, in the land of my dreadful existence. There was no resonance between my own vibrations and the vibrations of my dreams. My beliefs and my dreams were in conflict.
That new awareness helped me place my focus and attention in the right direction.
Positivity surely inspires but it is not enough on its own. I realized I had to go deeper. I had to change the cause of all my effects.
The way I saw myself. My sense of self-worthiness. My self-belief. My boundaries and my standards. I had to find my voice and courage to speak up for myself and not tolerate disrespectful behavior from anyone, especially from men.
I had to change the invisible to change the visible. In other words, I had to open the boot of my mind and reprogram my belief system that was dictating all of my thoughts, perceptions, actions, and my results.
I had to bring gain an alignment between my beliefs and my aspirations.
I realized where I was getting it all wrong with those affirmations.
So, what did I do?
Every time, I would hear a negative voice telling me nasty things about the futility and absurdity of stating my dreams (in the form of affirmations), I would give myself a space to respond consciously.
I would have a conversation with myself, saying, “Look, I know you have all the right to bring those objections and criticism because I don’t have those things yet in my reality. But it doesn’t mean, I won’t have it in my future.”
And I would carry on with reprogramming my mind, so I could start acting like a person I wanted to become. I would mix those affirmations with optimism and hope.
The change and transformation didn’t happen overnight, of course. There were many challenges and obstacles showing up on the way. But the biggest challenge was my inner negative beliefs that I had to intentionally reprogram.
It was hard at times to see the picture when I was the one in the frame. So, the coaching guidance and support made a difference in my transformational process.
My persistence, determination, and patience have paid off.
Now, I get to live the life of my dreams. I love what I do. I travel frequently. I share my life with my soulmate and my best friend, who is now my husband. I can afford the nice things I was only dreaming about before.
Everything is ticked of off that list of affirmations.
So yes, affirmations do work. But only if you work on them as well.
As a simple test, say out loud to yourself what you want to bring into your life that you currently don’t have, whether it is your dream relationship, your soulmate, your dream career, or anything else.
See, how that statement makes you feel. If you feel upbeat and excited about welcoming it into your life, you are ready to receive it, take a step forward to it.
If there is any kind of tension, resistance or objection of the inner voice of “reasoning”, then you are out of alignment with your dream. Your personal vibrations don’t match the vibrations of your desires. So work on raising your vibrations!
Always remember, you cannot come up with a dream if you were not fully resourced to bring it to life!